I was going to delight you with a report on one of the greatest pubs in the world, serving Bass from the jug to cheery folk on bench seats in front of a majestic fire*, but where’s the fun in that ?
I know you really want to read about horrendous experiences in the home counties, going by my gastro nightmare in Battle last year.
Step up, Winterton Arms in Chiddingfold.
It’s in a proper bit of bucolic beauty in the Weald between the Devil’s Punch Bowl and the Surrey Hills.
It gets no posher than this, as anyone who’s been to the Merry Harriers in Hambledon will know.
The Winterton has the sort of Olde Worde/Modernist combination that Mrs RM loves, and the Tuesday custom was groups of South African entrepreneurs “chilli’ out” over bottles of White.
There’s no-one behind the bar, but a voice from somewhere says “Hello“. It takes me a while to realise a nice lady folding napkins somewhere is taking my order.
If I wasn’t here on GBG duties I’d have gone for one of the craft kegs on the inevitable white wall.
Instead, I’m forced to choose a “local beer”.
What Pub says “There is a strong focus on local breweries, with the likes of Crafty Brewing, Firebird, and Little Beer Company featuring“. As if that’s a Good Thing.
After the usual “Just a half of Dunsfold Best please“, “Was it just a half ?”, “Yes, just a half“, “Anything else ?”, “No, just a half please“ dance, this turned up.
I gave it a go, taking it to the high table underneath the Nana Mouskouri album cover. You’re getting images of the Squirrel in Battle already, aren’t you ?
I took a few sips. I looked at it. This is real ale, folks;
Please don’t ask what the stuff on top is.
Now, a basic principle of blogging is that if you’re going to criticise a place, you do it to the pub at the time. As you’ll know, taking your pint back is an art form.
(whispered) “Er, excuse me, I’mreally sorry, but I fear it may be the last of the barrel. What do you think ?”
The very nice lady, who had been enthusing about their ales 5 minutes ago, suggested the other one. Ah, this looks OK.
But as the head cleared, I was quickly left with this;
And it tasted as bad as it looked. Like a watery version of a badly kept pint of Websters Bitter in 1996. I thought of pouring the beer into the pot plant, but it would have overflowed and drowned my new mate.
At least I had company. I shall call him Anthony the Ant. I guess he escaped from the pot plant on the table.
And we wonder why Cask is dying.
*And it’s not in the Good Beer Guide this year.
**Don’t worry Dick and Dave, it isn’t.
Looks like cleaning the lines isn’t high on their list of priorities hence the rapidly deteriorating head. I’m sure places like this only have cask on sufferance because they feel they have to have it to be a ‘proper’ pub. Would Adam not be a better name for the ant?
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Is Adam the King of the Weald Frontier?
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You the winner.
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Oh,well done sir with the Adam and the Ants joke.
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Who said the Scotts were all humourless tight wads. Oh, sorry, that’s the Yorkies, isn’t it ?
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Spot on. And putting on local beers gets you in the Beer Guide but with a cellar load of undrinkable beer. Adam was taken as a name.
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Maybe, but having cask on suffrance shouldn’t get you into the Good Beer Guide 😦
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Oooh! They look awful, like an actual pint of beer from down south, nay a London pint even. Oh, but you are down south. For an awful minute I thought it might have been another one of them pints of that Bass from the jug. It wouldn’t be the first picture of a gopping looking flat pint on a blog post in the last week or so.
Your empty images say it all though!
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You’re safe in Yorkshire, Richard.
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Most of the time, most of the time.
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Illustrative of the time lapse between a pub being selected by a CAMRA branch and finally emerging into the Guide?
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Possibly. I suspect that a group of CAMRA members on an organised coach trip round rural pubs on a busy Friday night may seem quicker selling and better beer than the average customer (if there are any) on a Tuesday lunchtime in March. Slow-selling beer is the curse of real ale.
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Last pint of Donnington SBA sold was in 1987. They hope to finish the pin this century.
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Is this place just within the Surrey border ? I hope so because we are holidaying in Sussex this year and I would hate to have dropped in on this place. The pint in the top photo is a disgusting. What happened to pulling pints through before service and tasting them before being offered for sale ?? Disgraceful…
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I’m sure you will ask for local recommendations before you go. I’m told the Partridge at Partridge Green is very good, can’t think by who, though.
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Very much Surrey, not for the first time. Never fear, plenty of great pubs whichever bit of Susses you’re in. Just stay clear of the Squirrel on the edge of Battle…
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Is that really in the GBG and The Cooper’s Tavern isn’t????
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Nor is the Dead Poets.
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Regional differences I guess! But it’s barking mad
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White Horse in Whitwick served a better pint!
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Are you planning on a trip to Three Horseshoes in Whitwick anytime ? Need to revisit and stick it in my Top 100 if as good as it was.
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I can do – I’m not sure if that was one with the shutters down yesterday….
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Trad. Opening. 11-3, 6.30-11 😱
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Good point – However, I went past at about 8pm…I don’t think it was The Shoes but I’ll check
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Oh dear. Hope all ok.
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Regional differences should be overcome by regions choosing not to use their allocation on weak pubs.
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There speaks a man who knows what he’s talking about. Watford branch didn’t take their full allocation a few years back, saying they couldn’t find c.30 pubs good and consistent enough. I applauded them. The pub in their branch that wouldn’t replace a pint dropped out the GBG after I wrote about, too.
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I sure hope that the ** was meant to be attached to, “And we wonder why Cask is dying(“).(“)
(Pretend the second quotation mark is where it should be, depending on where you live.)
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You’re right. It was a very late addition. 95% of beer I drink is good enough, 5% is stunning.
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Stunningly good or stunningly bad? The only types of beer anybody ever really remembers.
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Both.
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“the Devil’s Punch Bowl ”
Let me guess. It’s called that as it contains no alcohol which is hell in its own way. 🙂
“Please don’t ask what the stuff on top is.”
Considering I’m having lunch in 20 you can be sure I won’t!
All I can add is those are two sorry looking pints. 😦
Cheers
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When I think about it, are you sure that’s an ant and not a gnat?
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You’re the insect expert, clearly.
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Just thinking of the correlation between a gnat and what you were drinking
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You’re much too clever for this blog. Go and pester Discourse for an hour. Roger Corbett in fine form.
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