I’m sure you have an image of me sitting on my sofa with a can of lager in hand, shouting at the telly.

Raheem Sterling, he’s top of the league” etc etc.

Thought not.  Watching football on TV is akin to drinking at home or asking for a sampler. I’ll say no more on the subject.

But it’s hard to avoid TV screens in Malta.  Unless you’re Richard Coldwell who only drinks craft beer. All the bars and pizzerias along the waterfront had at least three TVs, set to different channels of course.

Marsaskala Harbour – party central on the left

We’ve now walked the streets of Marsaskala in search of caffeine and craft.  There’s no Maltese WhatPub, of course, and on evidence so far there’s a dearth of really local bars.

Marsaskala 2.PNG

Over at Il Gzira there’s a huge unfinished hotel project that would make a good Tiny Rebel if the concept ever catches on here.  It’s the only remotely edgy part of the village.

Street art

The drawing on the right bears a close resemblance to me on a good day, which is a bit scary.

Good likeness

On Saturday evening we ended up in the Coxswain’s Cabin, perhaps the closest to a micro you’ll get.

Coxswain’s Cabin

There’s a price list, but given it’s almost identical to all the others, a bit redundant.  The spelling is better than you see in Halifax.

Devil’s Bit is cider, unfortunately

Inside, four tables around the walls, close enough to bench seating to raise false hopes.


On the bar, nothing.  No draught products whatsoever.  Where is the licensee’s skill ? How am I supposed to give an NBSS to this 1 euro tin of Martens Gold ?


Mrs RM is convinced these are the cans you buy in Aldi for 39p, she would know.  It was OK, but her Hopleaf was still the winner.

I didn’t want to stay, City v Leicester was on the TV and I get nervous unless I’m actually there and can influence the game by shouting “Kick him !” and the like.

But within 10 minutes 1-1 was 3-1, and even that string of lights, and a satellite signal so far behind the actual game I feared we were back in 1999 could dampen the joy of Aguero’s four goals.


Last night I set off for a place called Malachy’s Lemon & Lime pub, hoping to watch Basle v City.  Unfortunately, most of Malta seems to support Juventus, so five of the screens were watching Juve play the Harry Kane invitational XI.  Never mind, I’m sure we won.







  1. You’re definitely turning a sow’s ear into a silk purse here Martin.
    However there’s not a single thing you’re written about Malta yet which would remotely tempt me to pay a visit.
    But I like your very British cheerfulness in the face of adversity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He’s just winding you up mate, Malta is wonderful, you need to look at my site to see the better side of things! I took him to the last place Oliver Reed drank in before he died (just outside). A proper pub with some decent beer on (admittedly cans and bottles) and has he blogged about it?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can only go by what Martin has blogged.
        Maybe he’s keeping the best till last.
        Or maybe he just doesn’t want to upset you by suggesting that Malta is a dump.
        I’m intrigued though – why so many places without draught beer ?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I show you pictures of cans of beer for a euro and you call it a dump ! You couldn’t buy a pint of milk for a euro in Ireland.

        I guess that draught goes off, particularly in the winter. Only the busy ex-pat places can have the draught on all year. And Malta isn’t a big place.


  2. No TV in The Hole in the Wall, so I listened to a BEANGROWERS rehearsal, pretty decent, they’re just revving themselves for a 2 week stint in USA. They had Man City on in the Salisbury Arms in Sliema, as well as the other match. You’re just going to the wrong pubs mate!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Good likeness”

    Not holding the GBG or a pink hilighter so not all that good then innit? 🙂

    “Marsaskala Harbour – party central on the left”

    If that’s the Labour Party thingy then of course it has to be on the ‘left’. 😉


    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think we’ll see more photos of cans and bottles in these Malta blogposts than in the whole of everything you’ve ever posted put together! I imagine the conversations involve you saying, “Well, this one *almost* tastes like beer on tap…” 😉

    Do you reckon the proportional price difference between 1.80 euros for a Heineken and 3.00 for a Guinness is similar to what you’d see in the UK? I feel like they’re closer to the same price in the US, but I haven’t paid close attention I confess.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s EXACTLY the conversation we’re having here, Mark ! Mrs RM is turning into quite a beer sommelier “You can catch that citron note on the back of the tongue” – re: Cisk lager. “Yer what”.

      Guinness would cost similar to Heineken in the UK on draught. Pricing all over the show here (the few local bottles cost more than the imported Belgian ones). Richard C examines that in his Beer Leeds post here.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s